History-Part 2

I can't decide if focusing on me is all I do or something I never do??

Maybe its because when I give myself permission to think about me and my needs I feel so guilty and it seems so unnatural that I think "Enough! Stop being so self indulgent." It's like mischief and misery at the same time.......

Back to history. Going into menopause was both a blessing and a curse. It was about five years ago when the hot flashes and night sweats started. I'd be sitting there listening to a patient and all I could think about was "how red is my face right now" or "I wish I could run out of this room, rip off my clothes and scream"!! Not a good way for a therapist to conduct herself--"Excuse me we have to end this session early today--I'm having what feels like a nervous breakdown."

The blessing was that it gave me permission to say goodbye to a career that had run it's course. No longer able to focus on other people's problems, I now had time to look at mine. And yes that was a blessing--because it created room for change.

More later.....